I am the Prudest Nudist

I am a 20 year old artist attending art school in Oregon and have realized that my life is not as simple as I once thought. I found that I may help others with the seemingly random experiences I have gone through, or the very real impact of mental and chronic illnesses. I have anther…

Today was orange.

Today was orange. Like the leaves that cling to my feet. It was good and happy like yellow but tinged with a deeper shade of emotion. It was something of change, thick with intent but bright with hope. Today was orange in all the best ways. I thought I hated orange, as a color that…

Against the grain.

I have no control over the waves that crash upon the shore, or the rumble of its greatness. I hold no power over which grains of sand it takes under its liquid wings, how the wind will ruffle my hair no matter how many times I try to hide from it. I only rule the…

Something about Depression.

That's the funny (not so funny) thing about depression I think, even when someone is holding your hand and going through it with you, it still seems to make you feel all alone. No matter how much kindness a person shows you or how often others try to be there for you it all feels…

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I think one of the more uncomfortable things about recovery, no matter what you're recovering from, (depression or addiction ect.) is when you're getting better and waiting for it all to get bad again. When you become aware of an old trigger that doesn't panic you like it used to. The weight from it becoming…

How to unpack your backpack.

It has come to my attention that many in my life are learning how to 'unpack their backpack'. I use this phrase when talking about going through all of the things that we cary with us that we haven't necessarily healed from yet. I was recently having a conversation with a friend that lead to…

How funny it is just to exist.

Life is funny in what it gives and takes away. It works heavily in challenging you, always leading you to unknown destinations. I find myself constantly renewing myself, building from each and every experience and interaction that I'm exposed to.  I can't say that life is a grand, wonderful, roller coaster that always takes you…

Loving your best friend.

I am so in love. Like that fresh 16 year old lets brush fingertips kind of love. That timeless I will hold you together so you can fall apart for a moment kind of love. That belly laugh that comes so easy and paired with an eye roll kind of love. The lets grow together…

Falling short at 6′

Love that tears you apart. He was 6' but fell short he was a good dad and played the part Love that tears you apart He was 6' but fell short A man with love that disabled He was 6' but fell short Love that tears you apart He did his best but broke his…

To anyone with a borderline father.

Recently it has come to my attention that my father's mental illnesses are far more major than previously expected. Having grown up with the knowledge that he suffered from Depression and anger issues, it wasn't until I was sixteen that I learned of his struggle with dysthymia. Up until this recently-- I am now twenty--…