That’s the funny (not so funny) thing about depression I think, even when someone is holding your hand and going through it with you, it still seems to make you feel all alone. No matter how much kindness a person shows you or how often others try to be there for you it all feels like a lie. But the lie is in depression and not in the sincerity of others.
I find that people who have or currently suffer from depression say “I treat myself the way I would never treat anyone else”. I suffer from the same mentality but it is important to identify where the sense of self abuse comes from.
Depression/anxiety have this habit of making ourselves the outlet for our hatred and pain. We would rather push others away than hurt them the way we hurt ourselves. I am relatively sure that if our inner voices were personified we would not hangout around that person. That is the position that depression puts us in. We are forced to be around that person 100% of the time and no wonder we are exhausted and maybe a little crabby. If everyone had a person who constantly shit on their day I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be peaches and cream all the time either
What we can do now that we acknowledged how fudged up this whole depression thing is
Understand that you are not the evil that lives inside your head. If that ugly voice in your head is telling you how shitty you are treat yourself as you would another person. Be gentle and know that it is gross and uncomfortable but it won’t last forever. Forgive yourself for being human and imperfect. It isn’t a switch you can flip to just stop being depressed, it takes time. Out of everything I have ever said or how much you actually agree with I want you to know one thing most importantly– you are worth the time it takes to heal.